Unsaid

Unsent letter prompts: letters you never have to send

An unsent letter is written to a real person and never delivered. With no reader, there is nothing to manage: no reply to wait for, no fallout, no need to be fair. People write them to parents, old friends, bosses, the person who hurt them, and themselves. Here are 30 prompts, sorted by who the letter is for.

How to write one

  1. Pick one person. One letter, one person.
  2. Start with their name, the way you would actually address them.
  3. Write for 15 minutes without stopping. Do not reread until you are done.
  4. End on purpose. A last line, a goodbye, or "more another time".
  5. Decide what happens to it. Keep it, reread it later, or destroy it. Any of these is fine.

To a parent

  1. What I needed from you as a kid that I did not get.
  2. What you got right, that I never said out loud.
  3. Something I understand about you now that I am older.
  4. What I want to say before it is too late.
  5. What I want you to know about who I am now.

To a friend

  1. To the friend I drifted away from: what happened, as I see it.
  2. To the friend who was there when nobody else was.
  3. To the friend who hurt me, and why I never brought it up.
  4. To the friend I owe an apology.
  5. To the friend I still think about on their birthday.

To someone at work

  1. To my boss: what I really think of how I am managed.
  2. The resignation letter I would write if there were no consequences.
  3. To the colleague who took credit for my work.
  4. To the mentor who changed my career, a thank-you.
  5. The pitch for the raise I have not asked for yet.

To a love

  1. To my first love, from who I am now.
  2. To the one who got away.
  3. To my ex, the full version, see the unsent letter to your ex template.
  4. To my crush, the confession I will never make.
  5. To my partner, the thing I have not found a way to say.

To yourself

  1. To me at 12.
  2. To me at 18, about what is coming.
  3. To me on the worst day of this year.
  4. To me in five years.
  5. To the part of me I am hardest on.

To anyone else

  1. To someone who died, see the grief letter template.
  2. To a stranger who was kind to me once.
  3. To a teacher or coach.
  4. To the bully.
  5. To a landlord, a neighbor, a customer service agent: the letter I bit my tongue on.

Paper or phone

Paper is lovely for one long letter. For the short, frequent things you want to say to someone, many people now write them where they would normally say them: in a text thread.